So this video came across my Facebook stream the other day and of course the title grabbed my attention because it’s about me.
Most Stressed Person In America
According to a recent study, middle-aged women (their term…not mine), ages 45-64 are the most stressed out people in the country.
We have the lowest well being of any group in the country.
This article states that we are in a “recipe for metabolic disaster”.
Despite our heightened awareness over self care and a healthy lifestyle, we are in worse shape than our mothers.
We make poor choices (and let’s be honest here…we are the ones making the choices) regarding eating, exercising, sleeping, everything that will in fact help us keep up with the whirlwind we call life.
And here again the mythical balance has reared its ugly head.
Much of our stress comes from the idea that there is something wrong with our lives being unbalanced.
The woman in the video is sandwiched between elderly parents and children that still live at home+plus a full time job+a marriage+finding time for herself.
An absolutely impossible situation to balance.
Because of feelings of guilt, failure, shoulds, superwoman syndrome, martyrism.
How utterly sad that what should be the most enjoyable, empowering time of our lives is becoming the most stressful and limiting time of our lives.
Because each of us is different and have different experiences, temperaments, and personalities, there is no one size fits all solution.
Ultimately, we have to take responsibility for the choices we make surrounding out priorities and values. No one else can do it for you or me.
But there are strategies to help us get back on track and out of this group that quite frankly I do not want to be a part of (and I bet you don’t either).
The video talked about sharing of care… of “carpooling” resources…I think ‘carepooling’ sounds so much better. Getting assistance from siblings, other family members, older children, respite…there are options out there.
Seriously, you don’t have to be Superwoman. When you continue to play the martyr, there is something underlying that is feeding that need. Examine what is holding you back from asking for help and then move forward.
Doing something for you is not a luxury or frivolous…it’s a necessity. You.have.to. Think of it this way, you need something to replenish the energy that you are expending on everyone and everything else.
Even if you think you can’t…you can. Schedule it; make someone else hold you accountable.
I love this one. Humor is one of the most powerful and therapeutic tools in your toolbox.
Use it frequently.
Give up the idea of balance
Although I have 3 children (2 who still live at home) and 1 parent who is not in the best health (and I’m an only child), and work full time…I do not consider myself the woman in this article.
Are you the person in this story? How can you change your ending?