So let me ask you a question. Who is the most important person in the world to you? Now I’m sure you need some time to think about your answer, because, as for most of us; we have several very important people in our lives. I’m not asking you to place your firstborn over your middle child 🙂 but I will say that the answer is probably not the first thing that pops into your mind.
It tends to be a difficult question to answer because the correct answer sounds so…selfish. Can you guess what the answer is…it’s YOU!
Picture yourself as a pitcher filled with liquid and everyone that you care about as glasses. Now when you keep pouring yourself into other people, how do you get filled up again? What happens when you run out?
There is great truth to the saying “You can’t give what you don’t have”.
Being “self-centered” isn’t at all about being selfish or thinking about you in an arrogant or exclusive way. It’s about centering yourself. It’s about creating a space for you to be you, to have a chance to breathe, to practice proactively thinking rather than reactively thinking.
Being self-centered means you refill the pitcher, you give yourself space to practice self-care. Being self-centered means that you give yourself permission to do something that gives you joy.
There are 3 areas that encompass self-care: bodily, mentally, and spiritually. Sometimes you need one more than the other, sometimes you can do doing something that feeds all 3 areas; it’s up to you to be in tune with what feeds your soul at any given time and figure what needs to be filled up again.
For me…it’s doing some form of exercise. At different times, I need different things. Sometimes, I need a hard cardio workout (I used to think that was all I needed). But changes have taken place and now I also incorporate yoga, lifting, and other activities I find enjoyable.
How do you feel about this whole concept of being self-centered? What are your self-care routines? Love to hear your thoughts!
Bruce Brown says
I agree totally. When I speak about personal power, either to groups or with individuals, the answer to the questions, “Who’s your biggest obstacle for success and a happy life?” and “Who’s your greatest competitor?”, both of which have the same answer (YOU) people usually get it right off, especially the first question. But when I ask, “Who’s your biggest fan?” it takes a lot for them to see themselves in that role.
It’s so easy for us to deny our own power and our own ability to give ourselves or lead ourselves to everything we want to have, do, and be. It’s easier to lay blame on ourselves, but not take credit.
I’ve thought of getting a bunch of small mirrors made up, labeled My Biggest Problem, My Strongest Competitor, and My Greatest Fan and passing them out to people in workshops and conferences.
The whole “Well, that’s just too self-centered” is what back on the farm we used to call a “shuck”. It’s an excuse and justification for denying one’s greatness and a subconscious or maybe almost conscious way to avoid it.
I don’t think people find their power without, or can ever have it given to them. The key word for me is “allowing.” Allow your power, allow your greatness, allow your uniqueness and your ability to give, serve, help, and be a model for your family, your friends, your colleagues, and, yeah, even the world. That’s how powerful we can be.
So thanks again, I really enjoyed reading your post.
Oh my Bruce!
What an amazingly awesome reply:-) Your response is a blog post in and of itself! How fantastic to meet you and thanks so much for stopping by.
I love the idea of the mirrors~I think that would be an incredibly powerful exercise to do in a workshop format. Really, rally powerful. And you are soooo right..that word “allow” what we allow, what we tolerate, (or don’t) are very empowering words or limiting, depending on how you use them.
I often tell people in workshops that we would never allow someone else to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves, and then I ask people to carefully pick and choose what voices in their heads they listen to. It’s very insightful and sounds like you and I are definitely on the same wavelength!
A pleasure meeting you and I’m looking forward to continuing our conversation!
Dawn Herring says
Self Care is essential and vital to a person’s health. I greatly enjoy journaling, prayer/meditation and study, writing, reading, and drawing.
I encourage readers’s of my blog and friends on line to refresh themselves, to do something they enjoy. This is a very important message, especially to moms who give out to everyone else so much.
Host of #JournalChat on Twitter
Thanks so much for stopping by and nice to meet you. You hit on something very key about being able to “refresh” yourself. That really is what it’s about; being able to hit the refresh key, getting back to center and taking that mental regroup break. And you’re right, we moms put ourselves at the very bottom of the TLC list don’t we?
Great comment and insight!