I used to hate to fail.
Like I hated it so much that I became an expert poker player of life.
I didn’t do or risk anything unless I knew the deck was seriously stacked for me to experience success.
If I didn’t think I would be good at something…I didn’t do it. Even if I was good at something I played it safe…because people would judge me as a failure and
Because failure is the biggest suckitysucksuck feeling out there isn’t it?
For me (and probably for some of you) if I failed at something …i.e. the thing didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to and I wasn’t inundated with kudos, my focus was on:
I’m not good enough
I’m not smart enough
I’m not worthy enough
I’m not disciplined enough
I didn’t try hard enough
I’m not deserving enough
So what to do??
Here’s what I know:
Failing at something is not a reflection of my or your self-worth.
That is infinitely priceless and immeasurable and failure does not change that.
What you can change is what you feel and focus on…
As you’re contemplating taking that baby step ask yourself:
Will this kill me (or someone else)? If no one is in mortal danger…go for it.
What’s the worst that could happen?
What would <insert name of super rolemodel> do? (Don’t be afraid to borrow a cup of courage from someone else…they never even have to know)
Instead of feeling all the not enoughness I listed above, how about this:
I showed a lot of courage
I’m proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone
My resilience muscles are getting a workout
I learned a lot from this experience
Next time I know now to do this, this or this
Does this mean you can’t feel bummed out, sad, pissed, depressed…of course not.
I love parties, and everyone should themselves a good pity one now and then.
Wahhhhwahhhh…ok feel better now?
In the last 2 years I’ve failed at:
2 book proposals
2 joint venture opportunities
Filling a program that I poured my heart and soul into
Making decent mashed potatoes (seriously this irks me)
Losing the same 10 pounds
Getting more speaking gigs
Ouchy, in some cases damn devastating, but I’ve got to keep going and so do you.
In order to grow, learn, evolve and have the life you truly desire…failure really is your only option.
How has the fear of failure stopped you and what have you done to get past it…or not?