I strongly dislike the phrase “self-improvement”. When you start going about the business of improving yourself, you’re somewhere along the line inherently thinking that:
- there is something wrong with you
- something about you needs ‘fixed’
- you have to change something about yourself because someone else may not like it
- your weaknesses need to be ‘strengthened’
Guess what gorgeous? There is nothing wrong with you. Let me repeat that:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU
Indeed if you think about how all the particular cells and molecules needed to come together and stirred up to make glorious you…why you’d be hard pressed not to stop staring at’cho loveliness 24/7.
And let’s face it…feeling like you need to improve is exhausting, isn’t it? Oh, there is no rest for those on the improvement treadmill…evah.
Those little voices that say “oooh, you need to fix that”, “you can’t ever do that right”, “why do you always mess that up”…oh my, they are sooooo tiring.
A simple shift in perspective can dramatically change how you view becoming more “you”. Doesn’t develop or grow sound so much more affirming than improve?
“I’d like to develop my organizational skills”, or “I feel like I am growing into becoming a better listener”. mmmmm…doesn’t that sound so much yummier?
To me self actualization is much like a picture that develops or a tree that grows (get where I’m going with this?). Remember the polaroids (hey they’re coming back!!) and you got to watch the picture develop? The picture was fuzzy and then it became clearer, sharper and more in focus as you watched it.
We are like those pictures. We start out fuzzy and some of develop faster than others ;), but the point is that we all develop into ‘more’ of who we really are.
So the next time that you feel a need to “improve” on who you are, think about instead developing into who you are truly meant to be 🙂
How’s your life polaroid turning out?
xo
Danielle
Home run with this post sister! You pretty much hit the nail on the head. If God showed or told us exactly what our Polaroid was going to be, I’m sure we couldn’t handle it. There’s a reason he lets us grow and develop either slowly or quickly – we chose, into ultimate masterpieces. I like you’re way of looking at the world D; it’s much tastier 🙂 #nicework
Thanks doll…I was swinging the bat hard on this one;) That’s why I love the polaroid analogy…I want to really expand on that concept in the book. We’re ready when we’re ready, right?
Thank you dear friend for leaving your brilliance
Danielle,
Finally, someone with common sense to tell people that they are not only fine but great. I believe we are all created beautifully with intrinct values and social intelligence. We should be rather pleased with ourselves and each other rather than chasing false ideals of what somebody thinks we should be. I join you in a chorus to sing: Enough! Let’s love each other, but more importantly, let’s love ourselves!
Agreed Ted…we really should be celebrating all the amazing things about ourselves and start figuring out how we can have more of THAT in our lives, rather continually worrying about what we don’t have or what we ‘should’ have 🙂
Love it!
What a great blog post – so many big-budget companies create advertising to make you feel like you’re not good enough, and that you need this or that in order to fill in your gaps or perceived inadequacies. People spend more time judging others or themselves that they forget what they have, versus what they don’t have. The goal post will always be moving, and the grass will always be greener on the other side – & you’re right, it’s exhausting and a big pain in the _________ (let’s be G-rated here!).
If you are happy with who you are, you are on solid ground, and can jump higher if you have aspirations to develop yourself. Being unhappy with who you are gives you a muddy foundation, and good luck trying to spring from that into higher heights. I love this blog post to death – I’m so glad to know your clients are being blessed with a coach who has this belief; versus other coaches who sell themselves as those who “you can’t do well without”
ohhh Paul I love that analogy! Hard to jump into your aspirations if you’re bogged down in the mud 🙁 And thank you so much for the support and kudos…it means the world to me!
xo
Hey Danielle,
Great post. I actually made a video along these same lines at the beginning of the year. In fact, I get so weary of the words “self-improvement,” or even “self-development.” I’m convinced what we need is more faith development, hope development and love development!
Nice!
Hi Gina 🙂
I agree with you about needing more of those other developments 🙂
Danielle, you’re on to something here and it seems like the battle we face comes from choosing whether or not to believe the lies that Paul mentioned above: “you need this product or that procedure to be acceptable” Much marketing is built around the idea of entitlement (you deserve…) or insufficiency (you need…). We all naturally tend to believe the lies if that’s what we’re surrounded by. My strategy is to seek truth and choose to believe it instead. I have come to understand that I was created, like Ted says, as a very unique person who has something to contribute to the world IF I don’t try to be like everyone else or always feeling inferior. We’re all on this journey and I’m encouraged by people like you that are helping others choose a better way of looking at themselves 🙂
Hi J…
I love that strategy “I seek the truth and choose to believe it instead”…love it 🙂 I think many lose sight of the truth and are not sure how to reclaim it
Thanks for stopping by!