What I Know for Sure at 50

I have been 50 for a week now; otherwise known as the half century mark and I’ve done a lot of reflecting on the past, present, and future. In some ways it seems absolutely ridiculous that I could be 50, and it other ways it’s a relief to actually be 50. I feel like I’ve crossed some sort of line or entered some different dimension being here at 50. I know some things I’d like to share with you. This is what I know for sure for me, what you know for sure for you may be completely different…as it should be.

 

 

Sometimes you’ll get lost in thinking that other people know you better than you know yourself…they don’t

The more you surround yourself with loving, kind people…the more loving and kind you will become yourself

Never, ever discount your intuition

You don’t have to or need to ‘improve’ who you are, but it’s a worthwhile endeavor to be the best version of yourself that you can be

No one has it all figured out; those people who look like they have it all together…they’re getting by one day at a time just like you

Sleep is pretty wonderful

You need to laugh as much as possible

Genetics can be a blessing and a pain in the ass

Kind and nice are not the same thing

You can say “no”…you can also say “yes”

You can heal from childhood scars

Most of us are doing the best we can with what we know at this moment

You will always regret compromising on your values both personally and professionally

Family is everything

I don’t have to prove I’m right to anyone (and neither do you)

You always have a choice…you don’t have to like any of the choices available, but you always have one

Not to be stingy with love, kindness, or forgiveness. When you hold back on these things because you are afraid of getting hurt, you hurt the very people you love the most

You will hurt the people you love the most; the people you love the most will hurt you. Hopefully there is enough love to get past the hurt

Having friends who really ‘get’ you is one of the greatest gifts you will ever have in your life

Resiliency and flexibility will serve you well in life

Even though my children are adults, I will still go all Honey Badger Momma on your ass if you mess with them

I’m the same person I was at 13, 21, 40, and today; and yet completely different…thank God

Talk is not cheap; words can be used to wound or heal

Learn to listen and listen to learn

There is no balance, but there is an equilibrium

To quote a song “life is a dance you learn as you go”. Some people are more adept at the rhythm than others

You need to say you’re sorry when you’ve screwed up, but not for taking up space on this earth. We women do that far, far too much.

Patterns will tend to repeat themselves until the lesson is learned

Helping someone with no expectations of anything in return does a soul good

Holding your grandchild is pretty much the most incredible feeling ever (except seeing that child come into the world…there are no words to describe that)

Drama is toxic and never ends well for anyone

Sometimes situations suck and you don’t have to try to reframe it or think positively; you’re allowed to feel what you feel

There is no timeline on grief and anger

I have spent too much time ‘getting ready’ and not enough time doing epic shit

Counting to 10 before you speak in the heat of the moment is probably one of the wisest things you can ever do

I want people in my life to be happy, but it’s not my (or yours) responsibility to make them happy.

Energy management is one of the most important life skills you will ever learn

I’d rather have experiences and interesting people in my life than things

Wear whatever the hell you want if it makes you feel good

Passion is wonderful, but nothing beats deep abiding love

You’ll never recapture the most fun and happy times in your life in quite the same way when you try to repeat them

You’re not ‘too busy’, you just think you are

Having a sense of humor is pretty damn important in life

It’s totally ok to want what you want

There’s a world of difference between getting older and living longer

When someone offers to help you, take them up on it (related: asking for help doesn’t make you weak)

Not to skimp on toilet paper, aluminum foil, paper towels, or garbage bags; spend the extra damn dollar, it’s worth it

The older you become the more clarity you get on what you will and will not tolerate in life; some people call this being a bitch

Things will take longer than you think they will, but man does the time go by fast

Be curious; Life is damn interesting that way

This too shall pass

I expect that I shall learn a great deal more by the time 60 rolls around…stay tuned.