Hmmm…so I woke up this morning taking stock as I normally do…(everything was still working, so at this point in my life, I consider that a great start to the day, thank you very much), saying my affirmations and thinking of 5 things that I am grateful for (my daily morning ritual) and realized that I felt the same as I did last night…
Why, you may ask, might I feel different? Well, dear friends and readers, today is my 25th wedding anniversary…wow! Do you remember when you were little and “milestone” birthdays came along and you’d wake up expecting to be different somehow?
Twenty-five years, a quarter of a century, two and a half decades…no matter how you say it, it’s a long time to spend with someone. I have spent more of my life with my husband than I have without him…in some ways it seems so weird, and in other ways it seems just normal.
The hair! The youth!
The best way I can think of to describe it is when you close 1 eye and things look a certain way and then you close the other eye and things look different…does that make sense?
Anyway, there was no fanfare, no big presents, no balloons, just me in bed (my other half of this anniversary party having left for work about 3 hours ago) contemplating what it means to be married for 25 years. I’ve had quite a few people express interest (or maybe it was disbelief, bemusement or being confounded!) on how exactly we have managed this feat; so I thought it would be fun to write some blog posts about my thoughts on being married 25 years…some tongue in cheek, and some serious. We are, apparently, rather rare creatures and people are curious as to how to feed and care for a marriage:-)
Am I an expert? Sure, why not? I’ve been doing it for 25 years, I guess that qualifies me as an expert right? I would add that I am an expert on what works for MY marriage; just like anything else in life, there are certain principles that if followed increase the chance of success, but are not necessarily right for everyone…did we have any idea of what we were doing or embarking on when we signed up for this gig…NO WAY!!
So, pull up a chair and some coffee and I’ll do my best to keep you entertained and interested as I tell some tales:-)
I shudder to think of any of my own children getting married at 19 (they’re waaayyyy too young!), yet that’s exactly what we did way back in 1984. Ben and I dated all through high school…(yes, I was his first date when he got his driver’s license!)…corny but true:-)
Anyways, we started dating at 16, were pretty much joined at the hip throughout high school and at 19 decided to make it “official”. Now I should at this point clarify a few things…Ben and I come from very different backgrounds. I think between all my parents and step-parents there are nine divorces (or marriages depending on how you look at it); my inlaws will be celebrating their 47th anniversary on Christmas Eve (ironically that happened to be my dad and stepmom’s anniversary too). He is one of 4 siblings, I’m an only child, his parents are very conservative…mine, ah…not so much:-).
I relate this not to bore you, but to point out that we really had no business getting married at 19; even though we were both pretty mature for that age…(indeed my parents were going through their divorce as I was planning my wedding). At any rate, living together was not an option nor was living apart, so marriage it was!
So, we’ve learned some things on this journey and over the next few days I’d like to take the liberty to share some of them with you…things like:
all wrapped up in some funny stories and some not so funny stories (and trying to protect the innocent…LOL)…just the tapestry of 2 lives that have been woven together by love, laughter, tears, sadness, joy and happiness. A really wonderful and amazing 25 years as I reflect on it; shared with someone that I deeply love, respect, and couldn’t imagine my life without…so stay tuned and let’s share stories!
Oh…almost forgot..Happy Anniversary Babe, I love you